In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
"In the same way . . ." - reference to the example of Jesus (inferred: "In the same way Jesus would conduct Himself if He were a wife . . .")
". . . be submissive . . . " - biblical submission: is not being a doormat or a nobody; no one is in a position of inferiority when they are in the place God designed for them;
- biblical submission is recognizing that God has a chain-of-command, an ordered relationship for marriage; that chain of command may be best expressed as 49/49/2: the husband has 49 votes; the wife has 49 votes; and the best decision is one arrived at by consensus, where each brings his perspective, his giftedness, his experience to bear on the decision, thereby arriving at a godly choice; however, when a consensus cannot be reached, the husband has 2 votes "on the shelf" which are his badge of authority and his responsibility (NOTE: if the husband is taking his 2 votes down for every decision, that marriage is not 49/49/2, and he will have a wife who is resentful and embittered by the situation - it is possible that a couple can experienced such a degree of oneness that those two votes sit on the shelf and collect dust.)
". . . without a word . . ." - "nagging" has been defined as "excessive correction;" it may be that most, if not all, correction is "excessive;" rightly or wrongly, one's mate is usually the last person from whom we can receive correction
". . . chaste and respectful behavior . . ." - this may be, in fact, the most necessary component of submission: the giving of support, respect, and encouragement
NOTE: the "Barnabas Rule" - if you see as little as 5% of a person's life being controlled by the Holy Spirit, speak encouragement into that 5%; then you will be able to sit back and watch the Holy Spirit do a miraculous work in the remaining 95%; our temptation is to try to deal with the 95%; and if we do, we run the risk of not only shutting down His access to the 95%, we may even shut down His access to the 5% His currently controls.
Husband: 1 Peter 3:7
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
"in the same way" - in the same way Jesus would function as a husband
". . . live with your wives in an understanding way . . ." - note: this is not said to the wife - expresses the need for greater understanding (and a higher responsibility) of the husband, because of the:
a. greater complexity of her thought processes
(1). task-oriented males focus single mindedly on goals - thought processes are more direct and therefore, less complex
(2). relationship-oriented females may focus on a goal, but at the same time focus on the peripheral relationships attached to the accomplishing of that goal, thereby making her thought processes more complex (confirmed by brain scan research)
b. greater complexity of the "seasons" of her life: p.m.s, pregnancy, menopause for which there is no male counterpart - does not deny the husband's responsibility for intellectual knowledge, but does recognize that he will never have experiential knowledge
". . . as with a weaker vessel . . ." - is not a reference to her strength, but rather to his treatment of her: in the tone of his voice, the content of his speech, his touch, his sexual advances, the husband is to treat his wife with an extra measure of tenderness and gentleness
" . . . show her honor as a fellow heir . . ." - apply the 49/49/2 rule to create a sense of partnership with her, involving her and her giftedness and her perspectives in the decision-making of the family (note the complementary nature of a marital relationship: where he has a weakness, she has a strength; where she has a weakness, he has a strength; together, in unity, they have completeness.)
". . . so that you prayers will not be hindered . . ." - the open channel of communication to God is damaged by the husband's failure to minister to his wife in all of the above areas.
